This year was always destined to be a big year for me, from the very outset I knew that a number of things would change across most areas of my life. That said I possibly didn’t expect the changes to continue half way through the year or be to such a significant level (in my model of the world).
When I say significant what I am referring to is the amount of energy I would be investing and the emotional impact the changes would have. Clearly this is all about choice from the very get go we all have options and we can opt to choose the one that feels right, the one we can picture really working out and the one that when we repeat the idea over and over in our heads total sounds right.
Perhaps one of the most impactful changes has been in my working world, as person who for a period of time now has run two businesses it has always been important to me that my working world brings me a great sense of achievement. So imagine if you can how I was feeling coming into 2016 feeling disheartened and disillusioned with the way one of these businesses was performing and more importantly my level of engagement and positive desire towards it.
Having made the decision that things needed to change I pursued what felt at the time like the right path, it proved to be a very bumpy road and potentially not the right route to achieve what I wanted the outcome to actually be. In reality this experience and the choices I made were based on my emotional reaction to the situation and the script I ran in my mind over and over again.
I choose to react quickly, a pattern of behaviour I am very aware I have exhibited on a number of occasions in the past. My conversations and plans I put in place were driven emotionally and as such I at times didn’t listen to the other voice have a conflicting conversation with me. This voice being my intuition, the very part of me that I know to trust, the element of our worlds that we can so quickly kick to the curb if we either don’t like what it is telling us or are so emotionally charged we over ride it.
So fast forward to where I am today and the events of the last couple of weeks, some eight months after I made the initial decision to change the position I had found myself in. Where am I, well in some ways back at the beginning, and in someways much further along the path than I give myself credit for.
What is clear though is that it is ‘me’ yes me who now has the opportunity to listen to the other voice, my intuition, the me who can change the script playing in my head and the me that can totally choose to belief in myself and my ability. Only by believing in myself will I begin to change the outcome, will I have the option to change the pattern of behaviour I have demonstrated in the business world on a frequent basis.
What have I observed and learnt about myself during the last eight months in my business world. I have totally seen the impact that a moment of two of self doubt has on my decision making ability and as importantly the knock on affect those decisions can have on others all in good faith. This cycle then feeds into the self doubt and so the pattern continues, only this time I am totally aware of it both consciously and at an unconscious level.
How can I change this then, well through my awareness I choose to change the script and run a different movie in my mind with me as the leading lady, who has learnt all her words, knows her cues and more importantly when to be silent and just listen.
In essence, take the time to ‘be’ allow yourself the opportunity to breathe and be able to have balance in your decision making. Believe in yourself and trust that you totally can achieve what you set your mind too…
The next six months I will own, I am owning and I will achieve.