Updated: Dec 18, 2022
I consider myself to be really quite self-aware and on the whole to be a fairly balanced individual ( others might challenge that). Over the last couple of months though I have noticed how the level of inner dialogue has seemingly increased, Or is it that I have just become more tuned into it and aware of the noise occupying my already busy unconscious mind?
Either way the fact remains that I am very much aware of the conversations and dialogues going on. I am also aware of those that are serving me and those which are not, and it is these ‘not serving ones’ that I want to talk about now and how to deal with them.
A more ‘normal’ approach has been to clock they are there and then kick them to the kerb and on the whole this has been quite successful. I grasp hold of the positive optimistic approach and move forward. The result? Life is good as it always has been and always will be.
Then a few days later, maybe hours or even only moments and the less positive dialogue reappears and I am aware of them. They mainly focus on a couple of conversations, events or situations that occurred during the last 5 years- the interesting thing being how quickly I am able to recognise they are there and almost observe them from a third person perspective. With that in mind you might well think the impact of these negative dialogues is reduced and less impactful, well in reality that isn’t the case because as long as I give the thoughts airspace I am also giving them energy and energy that would be better served elsewhere.
Ok so I suspect some of this resonates with you, so how do you change it, do things differently so you can in-fact move forward and where possible never invest energy or time in the negative dialogue again?
There are three stages that when practiced will make this transition so much easier.
Stage 1 – taking time to recognise the thoughts and emotions relating to the negative dialogue
What does this get for me? Well it allows me (some might say forces me) to be truthful regarding what I am really thinking and to recognise the emotional reactions that are created as a result and whether at that stage I am in control of my personal power.
Stage 2 – Acceptance (of where I am and how things are)
How easy is it for us to say ‘yes I get it, I accept this is how things are’ easy right? How easy is it though to truly be accepting about a situation, a set of circumstances that might not feel great and still you cannot change – not so easy right? Once you get to the stage of accepting, truly accepting things for how they are, you then allow yourself to release the negative emotions and energy attached.
Stage 3 – Forward motion (creating your future)
With a new found level of acceptance and regained energy you can now start to really connect with the future you want, similar to a visualisation you can really build a way of being- what you will be seeing/ looking like, what you will be hearing/ saying to yourself and the feelings you will be having. In turn this will build a new experience for you and with that follows thoughts and emotions.
Now I am not saying ‘follow these 3 stages and your life will be ‘negative inner dialogue’ free – if that were the case I would be bottling this and selling it via Amazon and care of Facebook Ads … Nope what I am saying is this is something you will need and want to work at, and the more you do so the more you will notice new thought processes being made as new neurological path ways are formed. How powerful and liberating is that?
So where am I now with the negative inner dialogue? I am accepting, truly accepting of where things are, and I choose to move forward in a way that will serve me and support my desired outcome. Fully connecting with the role I play and the choices I make moving forward. I am my personal power and when I feel myself slipping back into the old unwanted dialogue I take note, I change and I move forward.
No truer statement than – where your focus goes your energy flows.